Remember the good old days when the biggest decision on a Friday night was whether to rent one VHS or two? Fast forward to today, and it seems we’ve replaced the dusty video store with something far more insidious: streaming services. They promised us liberation from the clutches of cable TV—cut the cord, watch what you want, when you want, all for a modest fee, right? Ah well, joke’s on us, mate, because these streaming services are morphing into the cable bundles they once mocked.

Let’s dissect this phenomenon, shall we? Myth 1: Streaming is cheaper than cable. Well, that ship has sailed, and it’s taken our wallets with it. Once upon a time, Netflix was but a humble option costing a mere 10 AUD per month. Now, with Low-Fi, Hi-Fi, Disney+, Stan, Amazon Prime, and a dozen other services, you’re looking at something akin to a second mortgage.

Dispelled: When you add up the cost of subscribing to multiple platforms just to watch the few gems across each—hello, ‘The Mandalorian’ on Disney+ and ‘The Boys’ on Amazon Prime—it’s like cable TV all over again. Except now, instead of one ridiculous bill, you have several smaller ones. That’s progress for you!

Myth 2: Streaming is more convenient. You might have thought access to thousands of shows and movies was a blessing. In reality, it’s a digital Tower of Babel. Each platform is jealously guarding its content. Want to watch ‘The Crown’? You’ll need Netflix. How about ‘Succession’? Better pony up for Binge.

It’s akin to having your favourite store brands scattered across several malls, each with their own parking fees and opening hours. Gone are the days when you plonked down on the couch and channel-surfed. Now, you’re platform-hopping, logging in and out like an IT specialist trying to fix a bug during lunch break.

The cunning twist? Subscription bundling. “Sign up for all three of our services and save!” they say, waving the carrot of a combined package in front of us. Sound familiar? It’s the exact same tactic cable companies used—lock you into a bundle with stuff you don’t want to watch, all because you need that one show everyone at work is discussing.

In essence, streaming has become a game of ‘Whack-A-Mole’ with your credit card, but without the satisfaction of actually hitting anything. And the content churn—when a movie is here one month, gone the next—keeps you on your toes, or perhaps on your knees, begging for it to return.

So, what’s the verdict? Streaming services are revolutionising entertainment by dragging it back into the past. What was once the promise of alluring freedom is now a crowded, expensive marketplace where the only clear winners are the streaming companies themselves. And us? We’ve traded in our rabbit ears for yet another subscription login. Free your TV of cords, they said. Little did we know, those cords would turn into digital chains.